What a crazy week!  Surprise visit from dad!  Busy afternoon of children, and today for some crazy reason i feel the need to reorganize the kids toys … which by the way we have too many!!!

Something that has been weighing on my heart, and something I have been attempting to blog about is Proverbs 31:11-12  “Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value.  She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.”

In the beginning of our marriage I was becoming very bitter and angry with Joshua.  I was so resentful towards him which in turn would cause my attitude to reflect this…  I was trying to be the wife he needed and didn’t understand why that was not enough…  The sad truth to that is that it was ME trying to be the better wife… not Jesus teaching me to be all that he(Joshua) needs.. Joshua was almost reserved, I couldn’t understand why he would hardly share about his day, or want to talk to me about how NLC is doing, but that’s because he didn’t have full confidence in me…and really I was lacking in the value section… which in turn would cause harm to not only my husband but our family as a whole.  I wasn’t spending the time I should be with Jesus… I was so consumed with being a full time mother and a part time follower of Christ… that our marriage got the really short end of the stick… I didn’t mean for this to happen…and he would even try to become romantic, and i would just start to rant and rave about how bad the kids were that day and how stressful it was and bla bla bla it went on and on putting our relationship on the back burner…

We as wives need to be all we can be in Christ… we need to make sure to put Jesus first, our husbands second, and then our children.  Trust me I know how hard it seems to find that time to focus on Jesus and read His word… but you need too… if you can find time to sit and play on the computer, watch your favorite show..or even just read your favorite book… you can find the time to spend with Jesus…you need to make Him your FIRST priority!

Reading Proverbs 31…that woman had it going on…and seems almost to be an impossible to become her…but i once read some where that when we as women read this its supposed to be encouraging not something to compare ourselves too… Just concentrate on doing your best… strive to be who Jesus created you to be and the rest will follow:)

Proverbs 31:28-30 “Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: ‘Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.’  Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.”

So today i have tried to blog probably 5 times… in between dishes and the never ending pile of laundry, breakfast, naps, lunch and now attempting nap #2… phone calls, emails, and the also never ending “whispers” from the other room…”MOOOOMMY!! MOMMY!!!!  MUMMA! MUMMA!! MUMMA! NOOO NEO! NOOOOO!” ~ Malachi~  “WAHH!! DADADADADAAAA!!! MAMAMAMAMAA!!  (Snarl face)” ~Nehemiah~   All the while i sit with my head in my hands thinking.. “Man, i could use a vacation”:)

Theses boys are already the best of friends and the worst of enemies.  They make each other laugh the hardest and cry the loudest.  This is the best/hardest job in the whole country!!  I have never felt so blessed and exhausted at the same time.  Some days i swear that Josh is going to come home to a very bald and beautiful wife:)

Days like today are when i need to remember to take a step back… breath…and give God the glory…for the dirty laundry, for the dirty dishes, the very poopie diapers, and brothers who seem to fight more than play nice…yes the day is stressful, and taking care of the house and dirtiness is the last thing i want to do…but i have more then i need in life… i am blessed beyond measure!!! BEYOND MEASURE!!!! God loves me and provides for this family beyond measure and for that i am thankful..and stand humbled and ashamed that i let the little stress of life get the better of me.

“Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my thoughts.  Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life.” psalm 139:23-24

Today i stand as the proud, proud, wife of Joshua Gagnon:)!!  He is currently down in South Carolina preparing to be taught by one of the most innovative pastors in America..if not in the world, Perry Noble.  I say this with tears in my eyes and my heart racing, because i am so happy, amazed, and excited at what God is doing through Joshua… and NLC.

As this being my first blog and falling on a different kind of day… i just wanted to also say that these will not just be mushy love letters about my husband, though i could do that every day;)  I do plan to dig deep into the hearts of those who are children, mothers, wives and pastor wives.. to speak about real issues, real thoughts and feelings… to speak about what we are all thinking but no one is talking about…

So get ready!  This is going to be a very interesting ride:)

My only warning is that there may be many days where i just talk about all the diapers i have changed, and things i thought i would never hear myself say.  Having two boys (Malachi 2, and Nehemiah 11 months) there are many:)