So I haven’t really felt this deep motivation to write my blogs lately.. Plus the boys have been super extra needy.. Malachi who just turned 2 has been flexing his “I DO” mussels… which also turns into slight tantrums… (enter deep sigh here)  Then Nehemiah who quietly sits back and takes it all in… always seems to find the times when Malachi is minding his own business.. the best time to go in for the kill.. be it biting, hitting, pulling, or just some good ol bugging. (again with the sigh)

So here I sit… It’s 9:30 p.m. the boys are sleeping… I’m waiting for the last call of the night from my husband, who I miss terribly, attempting to write a blog that won’t contradict any of my others:)  (mostly the complaining one) Here I go…

I Am Thirsty!!  When I sat down to surf the web, I drank probably 5 glasses of water easy… probably around 6 oz each!  That is a ton of water to drink at once…but I needed it!! All day I have just been going and going and going and going… never really taking a break to drink some water..and really it’s been since Josh left on this trip…which was very very early on Tuesday morning…I try to keep myself busy so I don’t stop and think about how much I miss him… and how there are X amount of days left till he’s home..  I have been so busy!  Too busy.. as I was polishing off my 4th cup of water I started thinking about how busy I have been… and how thirsty I had become… We need to be careful not to become so busy and wrapped up in the events of the day that we don’t spend time with Jesus… It’s so easy to fall into the same routine as moms… we miss one day of devotions, make up an excuse and say that we will make it up later or do double tomorrow… then the same hard morning or what ever happens and here we are missing yet another day…  I have become thirsty…I have become dry… this week I have had close to no time with Jesus… I am thirsty…  Jesus forgive me for becoming so busy that I neglected the one thing that I need most…You.

1Corinthians 13: 4-7 “Love is patient and kind.  Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude.  Love does not demand its own way.  Love is not irritable, and it keeps no record of when it has been wronged.  It is never glad about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out.  Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.”

I often find my self coming back to this verse… its good to read when I need to readjust my way of thinking.

So Monday was, well, a tough day… as we were driving, not speaking to each other, I happened to notice that he was going a bit faster than he should… so instantly I’m thinking and smiling on the inside…”Hee hee! I PRAY you get a speeding ticket!!  That’ll teach you! HA!”  and just as fast as that thought came, in came another… “Love is never glad about injustice…Love is not irritable…”

BAM!  It was like a smack in the face…. I think that we often read this verse..but very seldom take it in…  Love is patient and kind.  I think that I can be pretty patient at times, and I know that I am kind.  Its not boastful, proud, or rude.  Hmm…maybe a little of each but hardly… Love does not demand its own way… I don’t DEMAND… only when I’m right and need to make my point.. Love is not irritable, and keeps no record of when it has been wronged…  Well you would be pretty irritable too when the kids acted the way they did all day and nothing was going right…and as for keeping a record.. seriously … how many times do I need to keep telling him….. love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance…..

We often make excuses for the way we act… I’m yelling because, well if you didn’t do this then… One of the hardest places to be is admitting you are wrong… it is the most humbling and embarrassing moment… I know of many arguments that could have been stopped if I just stopped… we need to get rid of that feeling of having to always make a point and having to defending or proving ourselves…  We need to focus on how Jesus would act in these situations…and speak only the way Jesus would…Galatians 5:22-23 “But when the Holy Spirit controls our lives, he will produce this kind of fruit in us: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.”

I encourage you to reread 1 Corinthians 13 and ask God to speak to your heart..  Teach us Lord to put away our selfish desires, to be slow to anger and quick to love.. help us to maintain self-control, never give up, never lose faith, always be hopeful, and to endure through ever circumstance.

Psalm 86:11 Teach me your way, O Lord, and I will walk in your truth; give me an undivided heart, that I may fear your name.

Yesterday we booked our 3 year anniversary getaway:) Jamaica baby here we come!!  I am thrilled to pieces!!  Literally when Joshua came home with the plane tickets I was jumping up and down..”Excited?” he asked.. I calmly answered, “Nah.” With and ear to ear grin! So in short, I am super excited!!

Then it hit me….again that sick to your stomach feeling… when was the last time I was this excited for Jesus?  Even still talking about it, my stomach turns… my heart was divided… Psalm 86 continues to say in verses 12-13, “I will praise you, O Lord my God, with all my heart;  I will glorify your name forever.  For great is your love toward me;  you have delivered me from the depths of the grave.”

It’s not that Jesus doesn’t want us to be excited about that vacation time, the raise we just got, or the new car we bought.. He just wants our hearts… and when you are more excited for the things of this world..then he doesn’t have it…

Jesus, forgive us, capture our hearts again…

Your Love Is Extravagant

My husband Josh has been blogging about questions we need to ask our selves… yesterday the question was..

Have I traded in my responsibility as a dad/husband to chase the self absorbed life of a Christian rock star?

The other night I was sitting at home waiting for Joshua to walk through that front door, you see, I just had a very long blah day and was excited to rest in the arms of the man I love and adore.. The boys went to bed perfect…like perfect, 7o’clock came and we started our bedtime routine and 7:23:) we were finished.  Things were looking great… so I started cleaning up the living room from all the toys, set up our places for dinner, and then there it was… the phone call to let me know he was headed home!  We chat it up for a minute and then I just sat and waited… and waited…and waited… and waited 2 hours later!!  I will have you know that I waited for him… oh I waited alright… there I was when he walked into that front door… arms crossed, rolling pin in hand and my red patten leather high heel shoes tapping  (click click click click click click click) … not really but it makes me laugh to think if I had been:)  I was however giving him a quite firm look over the top of the computer letting him know that I was not impressed… AS IF HE JUST WANTED TO BE OUT TILL 10 O’CLOCK AT NIGHT!!!  Ladies…our husbands know when they are over working, they know that they left at 5:30,6 in the morning and that it is now somewhere between 7 and 10 at night!  They know this!!  They see the stress it puts on us and they hate to be away from their families!  But this is not our battle to fight… we often think it is..like it will make things better if I tell him he’s over working… he’ll just stop and be home at a normal time… but in reality all it is doing is adding more stress to the situation…  After my firm look towards Joshua I asked.. “SO… What happened?”  not really wanting to know.. I just wanted to make my point that I was not happy… we spoke about it… stress in both our voices…and then just ended the evening…

When I woke up this morning, I was thinking about Joshua’s post yesterday, and recalled our evening the other night…and I felt like God spoke to my heart saying… It’s not your battle… what came out of you trying to fight the battle the other night… and the truth is.. nothing…. if I would have just let it be..and let God be God… I would have seen that God was already doing His work in Joshua…it was not my place to step in and think I could make him change…  What we as wives need to worry about is that we bring good and not harm to our husbands that we work vigorously, that we are clothed in strength and dignity, speak with wisdom and faithful instruction, and that we fear the Lord. (proverbs 31:10-30)  What battles do you need to stop fighting?

Philippians 2:14-15 “In everything you do, stay away from complaining and arguing, so that no one can speak a word of blame against you.  You are to live clean, innocent lives as children of God in a dark world full of crooked and perverse people.  Let your lives shine brightly before them.”

WOW… imagine if we actually applied this to our lives…I know that last night at dinner I complained about them messing up our order for probably about 20 minutes:( it’s sad but true.  If the boys don’t go to bed easily.. then I complain about it… if they wake up to early.. when I don’t get to shower without someone crying or yelling for me, having to change another diaper when I just did it, when the boys are having a bad day, when I’m running late for church, not getting out of the house when I said I was going to… I complain….

This breaks my heart just telling you the truth about what I do… I can’t even imagine how it must break the heart of Jesus… I must waist, I don’t even know how much time during the week complaining…

Proverbs 21:19 “It’s better to live alone in the desert than with a quarrelsome, complaining wife.”

Ouch… now that’s a tough pill to swallow… it’s the truth though… I know that Josh has mentioned something a time or two about how I should be thankful for what I have rather then complain about it…and then I would just start complaining about how he just doesn’t understand..bla bla bla… SERIOUSLY!?  Women, seek the heart of God!  Yes life gets tough and things don’t always go as planned…but complaining about it gets you nothing good in return…

Ecclesiastes 5:2 “Do not be quick with your mouth, do not be hasty in your heart to utter anything before God.  God is in heaven and you are on earth, so let your words be few.”

Complaining leads to frustration, frustration leads to anger, and anger leads to bitterness and that just leads to a hardend heart.  I truly believe that I was very close to becoming hardend towards my life because I complained that much.  Thankfully through the love and grace of Jesus I was able to recognize this before it caused to much damage..  I encourage you to guard your hearts, to not be quick to speak, and if you don’t have anything nice to say… pray:)!